Just look where you left it...

Now kids, there are some things that as a parent you end up saying time and time again, with such a wide range of ages between you guys they vary but the top 5 phrases right now have to be:

1-Brush your teeth/hair properly
2-Do you need the toilet?
3-Have you done your homework?
4-Turn the video game off and go outside! and
5-You haven't lost it, its exactly where you left it!

Now these are in no particular order, but you get my drift. Being a parent is the most amazing experience and fulfilling thing you can do interspersed with repetition, routine and more repetition.

But, and here's a big lesson for you, your parents aren't perfect. We are ALWAYS right but sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we should listen to our own advice.
NB. even when we make mistakes, we are still right!

I wish I had realised this a few weeks ago when I started to feel very despondent about running and began questioning why I was doing it. I always get like this when I have no events booked but everything is so manic at the moment it is difficult to find the time to book a run let alone train for it. I wasn't worried about these feelings but they hung over everything I did and nagged at my subconscious when I saw others runnig.

I had trained so much earlier this year, that after the last ultra I felt glad for a rest. In particular, I felt like there was one road, that I did a lot of my big miles on, that I was not going to miss at all.

I knew every feature of that road, every crack in the pavement, blind junction, squashed animal and piece of discarded rubbish. I ran my first 26.2 on this road. I've trained in the sun, rain, snow and ice on this road. I've thrown up on it, fallen on it, bonked on it and set personal bests on it. I have literally suffered blood, sweat and tears on it and when the excuse came to move on I thought I would be grateful.

But, here I am 6 weeks after my last race and to be honest I haven't run as much as I thought I would have. Not through a lack of passion for running but just a certain ingredient was missing. A little spice, a bit of mojo  if you will.

Every run felt hard and without inspiration. My form felt weak and my pace was laboured at best.

I was starting to worry that I'd lost my mojo for running and was even considering (perish the thought) getting a cycle!!!

And this is when I wish someone would have said one of the phrases above to me. Maybe it would have helped or maybe it was something I had to discover/rediscover for myself.

After a few speed session recently, I went out early this morning for a 7 miler. No pace planned, just an out and back to get some miles under my belt. Turning out of the driveway, habit took over. The music stopped me from over thinking and my feet carried me back onto that same old road. I was a mile in before I realised how easy the running felt and how light on my feet I was.

I was three miles in before I realised I was maintaining sub 7:15 min/mile pace without collapsing and on the return route I dug deep on the hills to maintain the pace. Finishing the run with an average pace of 7:29min/miles.

This isn't fast for some, but for me its race pace on a 10k day, with good nutrition and hydration. This was half five in the morning fuelled by a banana and a glass of water!

Like so many things in life, we lose them sometimes and sadly, you lose some things forever. But whether its your video game or PE kit, your car keys or sunglasses, your best friend or your passion for doing something you enjoy, try looking where you last had it.

Chances are it is still there.

Could I run an ultramarathon?

Kids, it's normal to doubt yourself. 

Never be surprised or ashamed to ask yourself difficult questions about what you are capable of. 

Once I had got to be a competent runner, I started asking myself these sort of questions.

"Could go faster or further?"

"Could I run a marathon?"

"Could I beat that last time?"

and the biggest one...

"Could I run an ultramarathon?"

At the time, these questions seemed difficult and somewhat impossible, like reaching for the stars or flying to moon. But with time and effort I answered these questions one by one. 

I got thinking about this earlier this week when I was reading somebody else's account about running ultras. They said that the difference between running 6 km and running 60 km is all in the mind. At first I thought how untrue that was. It can't be as simple as having a positive state of mind. Surely it's all about the training and preparation...

I trained hard to run my first ultramarathon and I think that showed in my performance. I ran the whole course in challenging conditions and although it took longer than I planned (naively) I was still impressed with my performance after I was done. My training involved a 20 week plan, running 4-5 times per week with a mix of road and trail, speed and distance, interval and back to back workouts. I stuck to it as much as possible I got up in the early hours and ran through the snow and the rain. I did everything I could and at the end of the program I knew I had done all I could. But the question hung over my head....

"Could I run an ultramarathon?"

Looking back at my first ultra I now see that asking that question was just me identifying a weakness, maybe even a fear. 

I've never felt comfortable putting myself out there and doing something exceptional. Running any distance is great. Running marathons is exceptional and running ultras is (believe me) exceptional. 

The fear wasn't about running the distance or getting a DNF. It wasn't about where I'd place or getting an injury, it was about me achieving something, it was about being scared to put my hand up and say to everyone, "I've done something amazing, I've run an ultramarathon."

I contrasted this with my second ultramarathon, I maintained my fitness, but didn't train too much. I applied late in the day and wasn't particularly well prepared for the race. But I ran faster and harder in equally challenging conditions and placed much higher than my first. I finished stronger, recovered quicker and was much happier at the finish line.

The difference? I'd already done the hard work and answered the questions, now I was just doing it for fun and for the experience. I'd already accepted that I was capable of doing these things. 

Jake running his first 2k race, no doubts, just smiles.

Kids, never be afraid to ask yourself these big, challenging questions about what you are capable of. The truth is that if you look at the questions you are asking, you're probably just identifying your own perceived weaknesses. And this is the first step to overcoming them.