Be a dreamer

Kids, it's been a long time since I've sat down and written anything for this blog. I've had other things demanding my attention and for a while there figured I'd learnt all there was to learn from running and written it down for you to read.

But it turns out I was wrong.

I read back through my old posts sometimes and realised I've been holding out on you.

I've alluded to  aspirations, but never cemented them.

I've hinted at inspirations, but stopped one step short of naming them.

I've teased you with my dreams, but never quite said what they are.

But times change and people change. I have become much more receptive to the motivation of others and once you let that influence into your life it's kind of hard not to be inspired.

So whats happened, well I'll summarise.

I put in for the Paris marathon, but as time approached realised it wasn't feasible due to the costs. And on the same day that I made the heartbreaking decision not to attend I won a place on the London Marathon, but more on that later.

I decided not to run ultra marathon events any more, but after running London enjoyed it so much I have two planned this Summer, but more on that later.

But most importantly and the biggest and best change that ever happened to me?
I became comfortable with myself. Now that sounds a little twee perhaps but let me explain.

I've always had a bit of a downer on myself. I felt that my goals weren't as valuable as others, that it was somehow ridiculous for me to get what I want; as though somehow I didn't deserve them or the good things that come from achieving them.

This was embodied for me when I decided to pull out of a run at the end of last year which I was supposed to run with two other guys. It was to be a day long run of 60+ miles and when I got a few niggles and injuries in the run up to the event, I managed to convince myself that it was silly of me to have thought of running that far and I bailed, convincing myself that it was for the best as I would probably have just ruined other peoples days. The others involved remained positive and motivational but I knew that for me it was over.

I'd failed before I had begun because I had never really believed it possible.

However, bit by bit, I have come around to the idea that nothing is impossible, genuinely believing that I can accomplish my dreams. And my motivator for this was your mother. She never reads these things so I know I'm safe to say this, but she believes in me 100%. When I tel her I'm going to do something she has no doubt I'll achieve it and I started to think that if I believed myself that much, what else could I achieve?

The best thing about striving for your dreams is that they continue to grow as your belief and confidence grows. Four years ago I'd never run a race. This year I ran a marathon in under three and a half hours and next year I have something epic planned. Kids, big things are coming and you're going to be a huge part of them.

You're my inspiration to dream and achieve and I want to share this stuff with you now so that when you're old enough to understand it you realise what a huge part you played.

Stick with me guys, we are going places and this time, we are looking to win!