Are we setting the wrong goals?

I don't think I'm alone in thinking (and probably overthinking) about my performance come race day.

For years I attended races and from beginning to end  of the day I compared myself with other runners.

He looks faster than me.

He's fitter than me.

He beat me at the finish line.

He overtook me in a fancy dress outfit!

When I started running a bit better I found myself still doing it. It had become an annoying habit which marred each race day. A tradition which somehow detracted from the enjoyment.


Because no matter how well I did or didn't do, I would compare myself to others and find fault in my performance, blame that day I took off training, berate myself for not sticking religiously to the nutrition plan that I know I should be on. On reflection, I was always a little disappointed. I'd gone there with goals, but even when I'd met them I'd still question if I'd done my absolute best.




People who know me know that I'm not great at taking my own advice. I tend to be a little (a lot) self critical, sometimes (always) self deprecating and once (many times) I've got close to throwing the towel in on running because of my frustrations.


It wasn't until I started working with others and training others that I saw how toxic this was. I started working with real people, with big goals and real backgrounds. And when they started getting stressed over their goals and their targets, my advice to them was clear.

"You are an individual. You are approaching this race with a unique past, a unique body and a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. You have trained to be the best you can with the tools you have; and whatever happens on the day, the successes and the lessons you learn are yours to own. But enjoy the experience, because you get to do this just once."

To say she enjoyed it is an understatement.

Pacing my wife to finish her first half-marathon last weekend, coaching a client towards her first ultra and watching a friend approach their first half-ironman distance triathlon, I'm struck by a sense of astonishment in how people can set huge goals and work hard around their daily lives to meet them.

I know that afterwards when the medals are taken off and the carbs are replenished and the blisters have healed they will question their achievements. Maybe it's what athletes do, maybe it's part of the human condition.

















But let me say this. Of everyone I know who runs, rides, swims and trains, the most successful ones aren't the ones with the best times, the most even splits or the ideal race prep strategy. It's the ones who enjoy what they are doing and want to try their best at it.


Maybe as well as having times and targets in mind we need to start thinking about how important the enjoyment is. If we started judging our performances on that, imagine how much better the race would be on reflection.