Rather than setting stretching goals and chasing them down, I set attainable goals and waited for them to drift in my general direction so I could reach them without to much effort.
When I started running, the most common question was "Why do you run?"
The second most common was "When will you start to lose weight?"
Well after a while I wrote a piece for an American website about why I run. It tells a very different story to the one I tell now.......
Why run?I've lost count of the number of people who have asked me this or the number of times I've asked it of myself. The truth is I have no idea.It all started one day when my brother asked me to go for a run, as he was training for a charity event and wanted some company.My first thoughts were, in no particular order;Why the hell is my brother running if he's not being chased?Why the sudden fascination with running when his car seems to be working?If he's doing it, could I?After a few tentative runs of slowly increasing distance I discovered lots of benefits to running. I was losing weight, I was looking better and feeling well. I discovered whole parts of the local area I never knew existed and a whole community of runners across the world, more than willing to share tips and secrets. More over I found a sport which was open to all, wasn't expensive and didn't have pre-conceived ideas of what a typical runner should be.All of these benefits were apparent but none of them ever answered the question "Why Running?"Why not another sport, why not join a gym or take up football?The question rings loud in my ears with every footfall of a long run and it's met with nothing but the echo of my footsteps in response.I've struggled with weight and personal image for as long as I can remember. And it's strange because looking at photographs of my past I was never as big as I thought. I guess (or I hope) that everyone has those voices in the back of their mind telling them what they can not achieve, or how useless/stupid/fat/ugly they are. The problem is I'd listened to them so long I could only identify myself by their descriptions and despite the good stuff going on in my life, I still felt like the loser they described.In running I found a sport which allowed me to test my own self perceptions and my own limitations. I wasn't being compared to team mates or peers, it was just me and the road. And I could push myself as hard as I wanted. Over time a strange thing happened.I got better.I began pushing myself to the limit in order to find what I was capable of and the response wasn't a voice telling me that I don't look like a runner, or another telling me I'm too fat to run and chasing me down.The response was my footfall on the pavement, the rhythmic beat that showed I wasn't slowing. I was moving forward. Literally taking a step and doing something positive.It was me doing something more than most.While others sat in and vegetated I was on the road or in the gym and I was running and accomplishing something.So where am I now?I'm 20+lbs lighter than I was six months ago and feel ten years younger I'm faster than I've ever been and have taken part in some amazing events and met some great people through running. I have a more positive self image. The voices are still there but now when I run, it's not to get away from them, it's to shut them up and show them what I can do.And on the long runs, either by street light or in the sun, the beat still goes on. I keep moving one foot in front of the other and I keep running.Why run?I've no idea, but the answer is just over the horizon and if I keep running faster I might just catch it.
When I started reading it I cringed and then I realised that I don't pity this guy who sounds uncertain about his path, I just wish I could go back, run next to him for a while and tell him, it will all be worth it.
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